My Five Hour Marathon

At a recent family gathering, shortly after the London Marathon
Where two hours 4 minutes was the time that was best
A discussion took place as to whether anyone would run a marathon
In 2 hours or less

I chimed in that my running experience did not relate

To how to run the marathon that fast

But nevertheless had received some press mention

For taking over five hours and finishing last

The marathon which occurred

In the above situation

Was the 1972 George Washington Birthday Marathon,

Run at Beltsville, a Maryland location

This marathon earned

considerable newspaper space

Because Love Story’s author, Erich Segal

Was entered in this race 

To understand what I am soon to describe

It is necessary to understand that this day

Periodically throughout the race

The Loser’s Bus circled the entire way

The Loser’s Bus

Was unofficially so entitled

Because it would provide a lift to any runner

Where assistance to the course’s ending was really vital 

After the 23^rd mile, and then the only runner remaining

I was approached by the driver of the loser’s bus, who had noted my very slow pace

And was asked then and repeatedly thereafter

if I needed a ride to complete the race

Exhausted as I was, due to the distance I had run

Compounded by extreme cold, and high wind condition

I was determined to finish on my own

without becoming disqualified because of vehicular assistance

Of course the loser’s bus driver had a different goal in mind

If he picked me up, he would have completed his work for that race

As there would be no other runner left on the course

Whose services he or she might embrace

Hoping I would accept the option of a did not finish

And thinking I was exhausted and really feeling bad

I was persistently questioned about every half mile

If I wouldn’t accept a ride, to where food and warmth could immediately be had 

So as a result of Segal’s entry, The Washington Post published a lengthy story

About this marathon race

Including a large picture of Segal

And noting out of 170 entrants he finished in 83rd place

After mentioning that the difficulties the sixth place finisher

Had experienced in getting there,

The article then noted he was uncertain as to whether it was worth the effort

In view of the travel difficulties he had to bear 

Then naming me as the last place finisher in 5 hours and 5 minutes

The newspaper article then proclaimed the truth to be

That for me participating had to be the only thing that mattered

But my name was in the Washington Post, for every reader to see

So if you are a slow runner

And you want to achieve some fame

Finish last in a race with a celebrity entrant

And the newspapers may just mention your name