The Great Harvard Wrestling Match

To understand the oddity of this tale

You must remember one fact that is vital

Without ever wrestling before

I almost won the Harvard intramural light-heavyweight title

After swimming at the gym one day

I scanned the bulletin board for notices posted

And there was an invitation for students to enter

The intramural wrestling competition, which I duly noted

Having absolutely no wrestling experience

Didn’t really deter me

I entered on a lark

Thinking, what will be, will be

My weight put me in the light-heavy division

When I signed up, I was the only person entered to  that date

But that was 10 days before the cut-off time

And figured many more would sign up before it was too late

To check how many light heavy-weights enrolled

I frequently checked the sign-up sheet

And lo and behold one day before the close

There were no other entrants that I would have to beat

So I had a very pleasant vision

That winning the title would be my fate

But at the last moment

A contestant entered, just before close of the cut-off date

So in the end, I actually had to wrestle

Before hundreds in the audience at the Harvard gym

Watching the two of us

To see which one would win

As the bout commenced I dashed across the ring, and lifted my opponent to my shoulders

Then slammed him to the ground, completing my initial move

The referee sternly advised me, perhaps inwardly grinning, that what I did was illegal

I told him I didn’t understand this, as I had frequently seen pro wrestlers do this on the tube

Anyway I eventually lost

Pinned with one minute to go

But in the end, I felt vindicated

Having given the audience an interesting show

Some 40 odd years later at a Harvard reunion, I met my old wrestling foe

We kidded about our earlier fight, but I wondered if he had some iota of fear

That I would body slam him again

Right then and there